O how sweet it is to blame. Well, at least for a while. There is such an exhilarating freedom in blaming others with naïveté. This blame feeds an internal motivation that drives our efforts. It fuels an anger that energizes our body and focuses our aims. It provides us with a villain to scapegoat and resent.
Yet, at its due time we discover blame isn’t sustainable. Blaming others isolates. We are left alone with all the resentment, anger, and loneliness. Blaming others hurt. It hurts those around us and it hurts us.
Blame blinds us to ourselves. We become blind to the beauty of life. All we see is warped by a toxic lens that pits all into a death struggle for survival. A worldview that the world and those in it are against us and ready to pounce and smother us.
This blinding ultimately dehumanizes those we love. “They” become monsters instead of just messy humans. “They” cease to be “us.” “We-ness” dies and we are left alone.
Connection then is the antidote to blame. When connected we lean into the unknown space of not knowing. A space of co-creating what is real and not just assuming what others think and feel.
Moreover, connection is not something we “do” it’s something we become, that is, we must lean in physically, emotionally, and cognitively toward being connected. This is beautifully complex. Connection is a process, not simple perfection.
In connection we find freedom from blame.
